Sometimes

Sometimes it does not work out the way you wanted to. I met this guy, drove to his place under a heavy rain, chilly cold rain. Got drench wet walking to his place only to have sex with him. It started out slow, we was talking, then it got to the point we got so close we could kiss which we end up doing and end up having sex. It was not suppose to go down like that. We were suppose to talk, then maybe go out, but instead we end up cuddling and fuck. Point case and close. It happens unless it is somewhere public where there is no temptation.

I am stupid, no, sometimes I feel stupid. I miss Jon. I honestly do miss him. I am trying to find courage to talk to him but my pride get the best of me. I can’t seem to let go over the shit that he did. How can someone take a trip that is 12 hrs by plans, came from another country, spent a week and 2 days and not call not even once, to say hello. Then go around saying I acted as if I did not want to see you and because I talk to you. But if he was in my shoe he would have reacted the same way. Though I was mad, that does not mean I would not want to see him. He came spent it with his other friends and acted as if I did not excite. It is fuck up. But he was nice that is all I want to remember that he is a nice person. He has his issues like many of us out there.

Am I so wrong to miss him? It was not the sex; he was always an interesting person to talk to. I notice a change of calls and though he said everyone is saying the same, including his parents, I find it hard to believe. I am not in love with him, but I feel like as if I lost someone I could count on, like Justin whit his new found glory and friends and the many others I have lost in the way. Then again I have met many good ones like Tristian who has become a coo good friend and well there was always Andrew and many others. I just wish I did not have to lose in order to gain. I guess that is the equivalent exchange of things demanded. When you ask the cosmos for something you got to give something in return that is of the same likeness or value. But I am happy.

Current Download

Kerry Hilson - Return the favor

Kanye - Heartless

Estell- Come Over

Chris brown - superhuman