49 degrees walking

I’ve notice a disturbing trait or pattered about gay men. It is that we are very desperate and in our moment of desperation we’ll do anything even talking ourselves into it knowing the end result might catastrophic.
Take a close friend of mine who recently, god knows where, met a married man and have starting to develop feeling for to even go out his way to go to his birthday party. He kept reassuring himself that he doesn’t want to become a home-weaker, over and over. Yet again you think he is cute and want to be with him. He thinks the man would actually leave his wife and kids for him. I feel really sad for him but that is the sort of thing that would make anyone wonder of the possibilities of thing that can never be.
Its funny how I say that when I am the same when it come to sex. Like this one time I met this dude, pay to get to his house, and fully prepare to show him a good time too only find out that he have met me before with another dude and it did not work out. In total surprise I try to convince that it was not me and confirm we did but it was only the two of us. There is no need in convincing a mind that’s already pre-set on something else so I just left took the little pride I had with me and walk out the door.
So why do we do it to ourselves knowing the end result of being desperate? I can only comment on myself when I say this but I become desperate when I start to settle I mean like the guy I mention I met once and we had an OK time and my guilt wanted to make it up to him so I became desperate in trying to make it up to him. there is no such time. in the case of my friend he did not want to be alone, so in desperation he felt this guy could be right for him yet again if he were to leave his wife trough legal means what makes he thinks he would not do the same for him.
We do it because we are afraid and want to be touch and something we fall prey into those need and wants. It cannot be helped, it’s just this game have its casualties and got to be fit mentally, emotionally and physically. If you get hit by a bullet heal and keep moving forward with your head up high. At the end of the day that is all you can do?